It has been 3 month since I picked up my lap top to write blog. I was super focused on bringing Koji into life to a safe place. All my extra time was going to visualizing smooth birth and having the house clean as possible, having all the gears and items in place. My parents decided to come and support my recovery at the last minute. Now I had to get the house extra ready! I was working too, stumbling into the salon where my office is located. I was working 2 days before the birth! I loved it.


Maybe it was all the cleaning around the house or the having gentle sex that fasten my delivery, but my water broke in the morning at 7:00. I felt a slow leak to water coming out like a big wave of the ocean. Wow, I could not believe there was so much water coming out. I called Amanda (my mid-wife) and she came over around 9:00. We made some plans and was going to see what would happen, it is all up in the air, never could tell what is going to happen.


Amanda left, Jason (my husband) went to the store, because my parents were coming that afternoon from Japan and I wanted to have some grocery and water. Kids were home for winter break, it was the most beautiful blue warm sky in December 29th 2016. I put some relaxing music and prayed for safe birth, had some calm moments for myself and the contraction just started to get strong all the sudden, and coming every 4 minutes!


I texted Amanda and called Jason to come home. By the time people were showing up I was in hard contraction, stuck in the toilet. It seems like the contraction was just keep coming and coming. Amanda helped me move over to the bed and kids were worried, but were helping me by bringing me water. Jason was working on hot water for the tub, but we just didn’t have enough time. I had to ask him to stop and just stay with me, I mean, I was in some pain at that point.


My memory is already vague around here, but I do remember, for a brief moment right before the birth “Can somebody take over…” And then it happened, the head was coming out and kids were called to watch the miracle that was about to happen in front of the faces. It is pretty amazing, Lillian (my 8 year old) was filming this whole thing, Michael was very concern and scared, so I consciously looked him in the eyes and gave him a big smile and told him it’s okay.


There splash out the baby from my vagina, Jason catches the baby for the first time, team of doula who were just great and wonderful, I felt so lucky and joyous. 11:49 am. It’s almost time for my parents to get here. We waited to cut the cord till my mom arrived and was able to cut the cord herself. They were so surprised that baby had already come out, because we were just talking when they were at the Portland airport and I was telling them “Ohh my water broke.”


If I could to teach some women about giving birth, I would tell them to find that wild instinct as women we have deep inside. You don’t have to be a hippie. Break your shield of this image of perfect woman. Meditate on love for that baby and communicate during the pregnancy. Make your plans together. Feel each other for moods and sensations. Your life style and mood during the pregnancy will greatly affect the baby. What a stressful world we live in right now. I cannot even believe what is happening in everyday bases. It is hard not to get affected by the politics sometimes, but we have to know our heart and mind belong to your community. Find the community that cares and fit your belief. Stick with people you love. They are your family.


Please think about your mom. She loves you very much. Send a thought every day.


Live from the Heart.

The Heart is Love.


Love, Love, Love to the World~!!


Maya Kathleen Washizu





















昔、有りましたよね。。。「愛だろう 愛」って!! 古っ!