It has been 3 month since I picked up my lap top to write blog. I was super focused on bringing Koji into life to a safe place. All my extra time was going to visualizing smooth birth and having the house clean as possible, having all the gears and items in place. My parents decided to come and support my recovery at the last minute. Now I had to get the house extra ready! I was working too, stumbling into the salon where my office is located. I was working 2 days before the birth! I loved it.

 

Maybe it was all the cleaning around the house or the having gentle sex that fasten my delivery, but my water broke in the morning at 7:00. I felt a slow leak to water coming out like a big wave of the ocean. Wow, I could not believe there was so much water coming out. I called Amanda (my mid-wife) and she came over around 9:00. We made some plans and was going to see what would happen, it is all up in the air, never could tell what is going to happen.

 

Amanda left, Jason (my husband) went to the store, because my parents were coming that afternoon from Japan and I wanted to have some grocery and water. Kids were home for winter break, it was the most beautiful blue warm sky in December 29th 2016. I put some relaxing music and prayed for safe birth, had some calm moments for myself and the contraction just started to get strong all the sudden, and coming every 4 minutes!

 

I texted Amanda and called Jason to come home. By the time people were showing up I was in hard contraction, stuck in the toilet. It seems like the contraction was just keep coming and coming. Amanda helped me move over to the bed and kids were worried, but were helping me by bringing me water. Jason was working on hot water for the tub, but we just didn’t have enough time. I had to ask him to stop and just stay with me, I mean, I was in some pain at that point.

 

My memory is already vague around here, but I do remember, for a brief moment right before the birth “Can somebody take over…” And then it happened, the head was coming out and kids were called to watch the miracle that was about to happen in front of the faces. It is pretty amazing, Lillian (my 8 year old) was filming this whole thing, Michael was very concern and scared, so I consciously looked him in the eyes and gave him a big smile and told him it’s okay.

 

There splash out the baby from my vagina, Jason catches the baby for the first time, team of doula who were just great and wonderful, I felt so lucky and joyous. 11:49 am. It’s almost time for my parents to get here. We waited to cut the cord till my mom arrived and was able to cut the cord herself. They were so surprised that baby had already come out, because we were just talking when they were at the Portland airport and I was telling them “Ohh my water broke.”

 

If I could to teach some women about giving birth, I would tell them to find that wild instinct as women we have deep inside. You don’t have to be a hippie. Break your shield of this image of perfect woman. Meditate on love for that baby and communicate during the pregnancy. Make your plans together. Feel each other for moods and sensations. Your life style and mood during the pregnancy will greatly affect the baby. What a stressful world we live in right now. I cannot even believe what is happening in everyday bases. It is hard not to get affected by the politics sometimes, but we have to know our heart and mind belong to your community. Find the community that cares and fit your belief. Stick with people you love. They are your family.

 

Please think about your mom. She loves you very much. Send a thought every day.

 

Live from the Heart.

The Heart is Love.

koji-1-month

Love, Love, Love to the World~!!

 

Maya Kathleen Washizu

 

 

今回アメリカ大統領選挙は慌ただしく終わった。人種差別・女差別など私の世代では余り気にしていなかった、過去の事が現実として身に感じる事となった。今まで、さほど気にしたことが無かった自分が本当にナイーブに思えるぐらい。おばあちゃんが私に言った一言葉を思い出す。

 

「おまえは幸せだ、女でけど、好きな仕事を選べる事が出来て…。」

 

と言われたのは私が19歳の時ぐらいかなぁ。確かに昔と比べてしまうと好きな科目を専門として選んで進学をするって事は当たり前では無かったのだろう。

 

70年代にカルフォルニアに居た親はたぶん凄い勢いのヒッピーな哲学を身にしたと思います。その中で産まれて来た私の世代は人種差別など知る事も無く、ピース&ラブが普通にDNAに組み込まれている中、どうしても地球に平和を欲求したくなってしまうのだと思います。大きな銀行や石油会社が自然破壊を政治と一緒に組んで地球を犯している事や、トップクラスのお金持ちのやりたい放題での奴隷社会。

 

知らない方が幸せだと言う人も沢山います。それもそうだと思います。でも今の時代、世界の現実が人々の視野を広げているので、地球人として、何が起こっているのかを把握する事が出来る事が大事だと思います。人の心から発信される気持ちは大きな波動となり、あらゆる場所や人に届きます。目に見えないから分からないと否定をするのでは無く、ただ、本当に感じたまま素直に飲み込む事が出来る様になると人は進化します。

 

そう、人々は進化しているのです!

 

脳を使う、っていうことが本当に楽しく想えるようになると思います。脳からの発信と心からの発信とでは心からの方が10倍も強いと証明されています。なので、脳と心の両方を使える様に訓練をしていくと、自分がアンテナとなり、色んな情報や願い、お祈り、コミュニケーションが伝わり易くなるのです。動物と触れ合っている時、赤ちゃんと接している時など、人は自然と気持ちがいいハッピーホルモンを放出している状態になっていますが、この胸の開きの感覚を実感して掴み取ってみてください。

 

この状態で自分の未来想像をイメージします。その時の感情を実感します。そして感謝をします。描くまま現実となります。それはマイナスな事を感じる気持ちも一緒です。常にマイナス思考の人は自分の人生全てに対して文句を言っていたり、被害者妄想をしていたり、自分自分となってしまっているかも知れません。今また、政治と世界問題で悲しい思いや怒りを感じている人が沢山います。この気持ちに左右されてしまうととてもグランピーな人間になってしまいます。

 

なので、最初から愛で生きて居る方が楽って事ですね。

 

昔、有りましたよね。。。「愛だろう 愛」って!! 古っ!

 

心の波動を愛に変えられると胸のきつい感覚や、同じ事をぐるぐる繰り返し考えなくなります。自分を病気にしない方法を手短に手に入れてください。後は相手の気持ちを自分のモノにしないという練習です。他方から来る邪気はスルーして、受け止め無い事が大事です。人の話を聞く時は100%心を向けて聞きます、ですが、決して、自分のモノにはしません。自分のモノにしていたら大変です。邪気だらけなって、何が自分のモノなのか他人のモノなのかが分からなくなってしまいます。

 

治療家には絶対に欠かせない練習です。

 

目に見えない感覚の特訓です。目に見えないからこそ繊細に感じる事を追求しなくてはなりませんね。頑張りましょう。

koji-and-me

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